While I was up north this weekend I made a life changing revelation; you can’t hide who you are, even from yourself.
My best friend I were at a party playing beer pong. She came back from getting the house pitcher filled and I could tell she was irate; we don’t actually need to talk to each other anymore to know something is up. She points to this scrawny guy in the corner wearing flip flops and camo pants, and informs me that he offended her. She used other words then offended. He had apparently told her to shut up when she was at the keg trying to fill the house pitcher up. After dominating another two games of pong this jerk makes his way over by us. The other team makes a cup, and my friend pours it down his sweatshirt while he isn’t looking. He blames me and starts calling me extremely rude names, and I snap. I’m ready to give him a well deserved black eye but he starts running for the stairs to get out and my friend holds me back, I calm down and realize that you can’t hide redneck.
Two hours before that I was trying to convince people that I wasn’t suppose to be a nerd for Halloween; that I wasn’t actually dressed up at all.
Walking, or stumbling more of, home I thought about how I got to this point, where some people think I am a nerd and others find me intimidating. I use to be nerdy my freshman/sophomore year of high school. That all ended when I met my first real serious boyfriend. I came to enjoy this lifestyle; I have always been interested in mechanics and working with my hands (I’m a farmer’s daughter) so I adopted his back woods ways. I headed off to college to study Agriculture Engineering. According to most of my friends the only thing girly about me was my long, curly brown hair. I got the nickname Bubba, and soon after met my best friend Nutt. We are not like most girls. We have achieved ‘awesome’ status in the guy’s world; something many girls strive for and never get near, so most of them hate us. We have ourselves, and we’re not complaining. We met sophomore year of college, fresh out of long term relationships with ass holes, and discovered that we are pert near the same. We became each others momentum to live life to the fullest, and have a good time. We don’t deal with drama, or stupid girls who immediately get intimidated and don’t like us because we can hold a conversation with their boyfriend longer then they can. While we both date and have had our respective boyfriends we aren’t the kind of girls who can’t live without a boyfriend. We aren’t friends with the guys because we want them; we are friends with them because they share the same interests as us. We are generally considered redneck girls. We are ourselves, and we don’t apologize for that, and we don’t back down if there is trouble. We cowboy up and face it head on.
Then I got a job and entered the 'real world', where I dress professional, wear makeup, and do my hair everyday. My polo’s and dress shirts are all accompanied by my pocket protector (I’m not a nerd, I don’t have a pencil in it). I have adopted the idea that how you dress reflects on your competency. But it is not me, at least the me I use to be. I have been in sort of inner conflict, the nerdy me versus the redneck. I have noticed that when I dress nice I’m more approachable, have more self confidence, have a sense of belonging to the group, and feel more intelligent. Even at the party this previous weekend, besides when defending my outfit as not being a nerd costume, I talked to more new people then I ever have at a party. Generally when I have a dip in a few creepy guys will tell me that it is hot, but it tends to be off putting. This past weekend I had a dip in, and no one thought twice of it. I am more approachable, more confident, and more influential, because I have finally found myself, a nerdy redneck. I know who I am. Goodbye quarter-life crisis.
My best friend I were at a party playing beer pong. She came back from getting the house pitcher filled and I could tell she was irate; we don’t actually need to talk to each other anymore to know something is up. She points to this scrawny guy in the corner wearing flip flops and camo pants, and informs me that he offended her. She used other words then offended. He had apparently told her to shut up when she was at the keg trying to fill the house pitcher up. After dominating another two games of pong this jerk makes his way over by us. The other team makes a cup, and my friend pours it down his sweatshirt while he isn’t looking. He blames me and starts calling me extremely rude names, and I snap. I’m ready to give him a well deserved black eye but he starts running for the stairs to get out and my friend holds me back, I calm down and realize that you can’t hide redneck.
Two hours before that I was trying to convince people that I wasn’t suppose to be a nerd for Halloween; that I wasn’t actually dressed up at all.
Walking, or stumbling more of, home I thought about how I got to this point, where some people think I am a nerd and others find me intimidating. I use to be nerdy my freshman/sophomore year of high school. That all ended when I met my first real serious boyfriend. I came to enjoy this lifestyle; I have always been interested in mechanics and working with my hands (I’m a farmer’s daughter) so I adopted his back woods ways. I headed off to college to study Agriculture Engineering. According to most of my friends the only thing girly about me was my long, curly brown hair. I got the nickname Bubba, and soon after met my best friend Nutt. We are not like most girls. We have achieved ‘awesome’ status in the guy’s world; something many girls strive for and never get near, so most of them hate us. We have ourselves, and we’re not complaining. We met sophomore year of college, fresh out of long term relationships with ass holes, and discovered that we are pert near the same. We became each others momentum to live life to the fullest, and have a good time. We don’t deal with drama, or stupid girls who immediately get intimidated and don’t like us because we can hold a conversation with their boyfriend longer then they can. While we both date and have had our respective boyfriends we aren’t the kind of girls who can’t live without a boyfriend. We aren’t friends with the guys because we want them; we are friends with them because they share the same interests as us. We are generally considered redneck girls. We are ourselves, and we don’t apologize for that, and we don’t back down if there is trouble. We cowboy up and face it head on.
Then I got a job and entered the 'real world', where I dress professional, wear makeup, and do my hair everyday. My polo’s and dress shirts are all accompanied by my pocket protector (I’m not a nerd, I don’t have a pencil in it). I have adopted the idea that how you dress reflects on your competency. But it is not me, at least the me I use to be. I have been in sort of inner conflict, the nerdy me versus the redneck. I have noticed that when I dress nice I’m more approachable, have more self confidence, have a sense of belonging to the group, and feel more intelligent. Even at the party this previous weekend, besides when defending my outfit as not being a nerd costume, I talked to more new people then I ever have at a party. Generally when I have a dip in a few creepy guys will tell me that it is hot, but it tends to be off putting. This past weekend I had a dip in, and no one thought twice of it. I am more approachable, more confident, and more influential, because I have finally found myself, a nerdy redneck. I know who I am. Goodbye quarter-life crisis.
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